If you keep up with our articles and follow us regularly, you know how we feel about the "Brotherhood" of our service. How we are to carry on what the others before us have worked so hard to obtain. Some gave their lives trying to obtain what we now have. So we must, it our duty to "PAY IT FORWARD". We talk about taking care of each other and always being there, with our lives if need be, for each other.
But my question to you is are we actually making sure our brothers/sisters are really ok?
The thing about us firemen (and women) is that we are very proud creatures. We rarely ask for help, we believe we can get just about anything tasked to us done. We almost never let our brothers/sisters know when something has bothered us to a point our performance may be affected. Now I am not speaking about petty shit like trash not being taking out or leaving the station in a mess. I am not referring to a shift showing up at 7:62 am for shift change. (Although these things happen and are irritating, they are not what this article is about). These are minor details in the grand scheme of things.
In our line of work we see things, hear things, and feel things that the average person will never experience. In all honesty, no one should be subjected to these things, BUT that is the part of the profession we CHOSE to do. We CHOSE to carry the burden of what we see and do. This does not mean we are not affected by such things though.
The ironic thing is that the burden is not lessened by more years of service. The burden is no greater for the probie or rookie that are in your company.
There will those that read this and say "Aw what a bunch of babies". Whatever, do not pay that comment or that person any attention. To say that you are not affected by what we experience, to say that you are not sensitive to the emotions that are carried with certain calls is ignorant and stupid. Look we are all human, do we sometimes attempt to do un-humanly things like run into a burning structure or revive someone that is by all medical terms already dead, sure. But our human emotions are still carried with us and affect us. We must understand that each and every call we go on adds to the burden we carry. If we do not find ways to lessen, not get rid of, but lessen the burden we carry the affect can be devastating to us.
One thing is for sure and that is I can't tell you when you will be affected or what type of call will affect you, but I can tell you that someday you will be affected. You will carry around the burden of what we see, that is for sure. For some it is an EMS pediatric code, for others it may be a devastating car accident. There are those that may be affected by pulling a body from a burning structure. It will vary greatly between us, BUT it will affect us all.
So I go back to my initial question "Are we actually making sure that our brothers/sisters are ok?
Now I am aware that most departments have CISD teams and perform these debriefings every so often. I have been involved in a few of these official CISD's and my honest opinion is that they are nothing more then a bunch of bullshit. Something that the department has, just to say it has. We don't need someone that was paged out from his/her sleeping bed to come to the fire house and tell us "It's ok" with a pat on the back. These people were not on scene, they did not see what we saw. They did not hear what we heard and they dam well didn't feel what we felt. So how are they suppose to relate? This in no way actually helps the process of lessening the burden of that call.
What we MUST do to save our own sanity is to gather our brothers/sisters, that were on scene and involved in such a incident, immediately after the call is over. We must make sure that we all are ok with what happened. This cannot take place days later and it cannot be conducted by personnel that were not involved. Be assured that you will find many firefighters that will say "I am fine, I don't need to discuss anything". What they don't realize and we must realize for them is that they do need to discuss things. You see this is one of the oldest forms of therapy, it is called communication.
So how do we go about making sure we are all ok after a extremely intense and devastating call? Well making statements like "It's ok" and "shit happens" or "you did your job" do not actually help at all in my opinion. These things look and sound great in the movies and television series, but they do nothing to help remove some of the burden we REALLY carry with us. So what are you to do when you are finally gathered after the incident you are asking? Well obviously checking that every one is physically ok is top priority. But after that we must start the process of removing some of the burden from that call.
The last thing this process allows for is to let each firefighter know that no matter what decision was made at that time, no matter what emotions or feelings you had at that time, no matter how affected you may be or how much burden you are carrying with you, WE ARE THERE FOR YOU. WE MUST MAKE SURE WE ARE ALL OK....
The things we do and see each and every shift are things movies are made of. The only difference is we really experience the burden and the affects of each call. And in doing so we will carry with us the burden of what we do. But we must find ways, like described above, to lessen the burden. If we don't the burden will affect our health (physically and emotionally), our home life (we have the 2nd highest divorce rate in the nation), and our work (burnout).
So please remember just because you may have seen something or done something hundreds of times and not been affected, others may be. Things affect us all differently and at different times. LET'S TRULY MAKE SURE WE ARE ALL OK...COMMUNICATE
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